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The Double Cheeseburger Loophole

Once upon a time McDonald’s used to offer the Double Cheeseburger as part of its Loose Change menu.  However,  Mcdonald’s has since reinstated the Double Cheeseburger as part of its full priced menu for an extortionate $4.35. Now the closest substitute is the Double Beef n Bacon burger for $3.00. But what if you are poor, Jewish or Islamic? This new product is really discriminating and McDonald’s bacon is generally below average, making the new substitute largely inferior.

Well to honour diversity, here is the Double Cheeseburger Loophole, which is essentially an extension of The Cheesy Cheeseburger Loophole. This will get you a Double Cheeseburger for $2.90. $1.45 cheaper than the full priced menu, and 10 cents cheaper than the Double Beef n Bacon burger, eliminating the free pork dilemma.

How it works
The only difference between a cheeseburger and a double cheeseburger is an extra slice of cheese and an extra patty. As you can transform the Cheesy BBQ burger into a Cheeseburger with an extra slice of cheese for $2, for an additional 90 cents, the cost of an extra patty, you can make a Double Cheeseburger.

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Spot the difference

What to order:

  • A Cheesy BBQ burger
    • No bbq sauce
    • Add mustard
    • Add pickles
    • Add extra cheese burger patty
    • Free packs of ketchup

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    Paper proof

    What to do
    Order the item, if you have a server with at least a IQ of 80, you will receive a Double Cheeseburger missing only the ketchup.
    Open the burger and spread the ketchup with anything you can use to substitute a knife (straws work quite well).
    Reassemble the burger and you now have a Double Cheeseburger and an extra 200 calories compared to a Cheeseburger.

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    Shame/Stupidity analysis

    As with all loopholes McDonald’s likely has these pricing discrepancies to take advantage of the average person’s shame or stupidity. Because the only difference between a Cheeseburger and a Double Cheeseburger is the extra patty which costs 90 cents and an extra slice of cheese at 50 cents, you can transform the Cheeseburger into a Double Cheeseburger for $4.00. This infers that McDonald’s values the stupidity of customers who purchase the Double Cheeseburger, and don’t know the difference between a Double Cheeseburger and a Cheeseburger at 35 cents.

    The base item of the Double Cheeseburger Loophole involves transforming a $2 Cheeseburger with an extra slice of cheese, into a Double Cheeseburger with just one 90 cent patty. The only reason one will avoid doing this with perfect information is a shame value greater than the $1.45 price differential between retail cost and base cost.
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    As $1.45>$0.35, we can conclude from this that for McDonald’s the value of shame > value of stupidity.

    Also check out the McFlurry Loophole, McNuggets Loophole, and the Fillet O Fish Loophole

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0

The Cheesy Cheeseburger Loophole

The Australian cheeseburger reality

The Australian cheeseburger reality

Gone are the days where a McDonald’s cheeseburger cost less than a 2 dollar coin. Currently, a McDonald’s cheeseburger is $2.60, a minimal combination of three coins, which is also similar to the total number of bites you can get from one cheeseburger. Well my friends, I have found a way to obtain a cheeseburger for $2 instead of $2.60. This completely changes the old fundamental inequality as now the minimal combination of coins required is less than the number of cheeseburger bites obtainable (1 < 3 , therefore = winning in life!). Oh, and before I get to mention, this loophole gets you an extra slice of cheese, making it super cheesy!

The Cheesy Cheeseburger Loophole

Order the following:

  • One cheesy BBQ burger with:
    • No BBQ sauce
    • Add mustard
    • Add pickles
    • Some free ketchup packets

    Total cost = $2, as the Cheesy BBQ burger is on the Loose Change menu

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    Paper proof

    What to do

    If you need to be less shifty here’s the ordering sentence:

    “Hi can I please have a cheesy BBQ burger with mustard instead of BBQ sauce and can you add pickles?”

    95 per cent of the time your request will be granted. However, there are times at McDonald’s restaurants where you get a really stupid server you can’t understand your request, or a really smart server who wants to extort your full willingness to pay.

    Conditional to your request being granted, you will receive a cheeseburger with an additional slice of cheese, only missing ketchup.To fix this, simply open up the burger, and squirt all the free Heinz ketchup onto the top of the bun, distribute the ketchup evenly around the bun using either a straw or $1 fries.

    Step 1 and Step 2

    Step 1 and Step 2

    Reassemble your burger and enjoy the Cheesy Cheeseburger Loophole.wpid-PhotoGrid_1395409291584.jpg

    Cheesy grins from extra cheesy wins

    Savings Analysis

    Assuming McDonald’s Australia has fairly priced all the items on its menu, then we can value the product from the Cheesy Cheeseburger Loophole to be $3.10 after we account for the extra slice of cheese McDonald’s prices at $0.50. Pretty picture below.

    PhotoGrid_1395447558983

    Given the loophole only sets you back $2, this means you are really winning by $1.10, even though your cash savings are only a meagre 60 cents. Time to buy two 30 cent cones with the loose change you will gain from shamefully exploiting the Loose Change menu!

    Also check out the:
    McFlurry Loophole 
    The Fillet O Fish Loophole

    Or the McNuggets Loophole 

    Feel free follow me/share posts/photos/comments on Twitter @arbkitscissors 

    Or like/post photos/comments to the Facebook Page

7

The Filet O Fish Loophole

At the time of writing, the gourmet Filet O Fish burger is an unaffordable $4.75. And no, that’s not the small McValue meal, that’s just the tiny,  unsatisfying minibun burger.

How can I enjoy a filet o fish when I can’t even afford it without a loophole?

Being 25 years old, my parents no longer pay for my McDonald’s trips and all McExpenses are paid for out of my own pocket. So here today is the Filet O Fish loophole, which willl save you $1.35 cents off the retail price.

The Filet-O-Fish Loophole

Order:

  • 1 Chicken N Cheese with no McChicken patty and no sauce $1.40
  • 1 Filet O Fish patty $1.60
  • 1 serving of tartare sauce $0.40

Total: $3.40

Proof!

Proof!

Here’s how:

The Chicken N Cheese is initially $3, but for non loose change menu items, removing protein inputs lowers the cost, without out the McChicken patty it comes to a total of $1.40. You are left with a bun and a half slice of cheese.

Open this bun and slide in your Filet O Fish patty. Using a straw, or cutlery of provided, spread tartare sauce onto the bun. You now have a Filet O Fish burger.

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I don’t have photos of the individual inputs because my local McDonald’s branch nicely took all the shame out if this loophole for me and assembled my burger for me. Shame free savings=winning in life!!! Hopefully your local McDonald’s will understand your life problems and free you of any shame too.

I haven’t eaten a Filet O Fish in over 10 years, as I couldn’t afford it before this. However, this loophole tastes just like what I’ve been dreaming about for the last 10 years. It’s just like a cheeseburger but with the dry, cheap crumbed fish fillet with the tangy tackiness that only McDonald’s can master.

Shame analysis
As you can see from the My Maccas shame calculator below.

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The fair value of the Fillet O Fish Loophole is $3.40, estimating the intrinsic value of the inputs to be:

  • Fillet O Fish patty: $1.60
  • 1/2 slice of cheese: $0.25
  • Tartare sauce: $0.40
  • Cheeseburger bun: $1.15
  • Shame: $1.35

Here are some ways to reallocate that $1.35 saving shame:

  • Perform the McFlurry Loophole for $1.10
  • Perform the McNuggets Loophole for $1.60
  • Add bacon to your Filet-O-Fish for $1
  • Small fries for $1
  • Four soft serve cones for $1.20
  • Apple pie for $1.50

Happy savings!!!

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14

The McNuggets Loophole

There is no chicken nugget in the world which can beat the iconic McNugget. Apparently since late 2007, McNuggets are made from 100% chicken breast meat, although I have a feeling this 100% is really a lie with the majority of McNuggets comprised of carcass, fat, skin, gristle, bones, nerves and blood vessels, oh and sodium phosphates to dye to dubious contents a nice white colour. I don’t mind eating McNuggets with all its mysterious elements but like the McFlurry, it is just really unfair that consumers in Australia have to pay so much to eat such great tasting, poor quality, trash. I mean what the hell McDonald’s Australia, $5.45 for a six pack of McNuggets? That’s just unfair extortion of the poor, uneducated, unhealthy, obese and/or extremely drunk stereotypes who habitually eat McDonald’s!

Well not anymore my friends, here is another loophole to save you money at checkout and get your petty revenge with the Golden Arches.

The McNuggets Loophole

The trick is to order McChicken patties instead of McNuggets. You see, one McChicken patty is equal to a little bit more than four McNuggets and is only $1.60. (Proof below)

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The McChicken patty also tastes better as it has something like 11 herbs and spices, and it contains more white breast meat than the McNuggets which seem to have a questionable texture and after taste. So, by doing the McNuggets Loophole you are actually getting a higher quality product for less.

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The only downfall of the McNuggets Loophole is that you don’t get your sauce included and have to pay 50 cents for each sauce packet be it sweet & sour, barbeque or mustard. However, even when the cost of sauce is included into the price calculations you are still winning by around by miles with savings ranging from 15 cents to 43 cents per a McNugget.

Savings per a McNugget

Shame Involved with the McNuggets Loophole

As we established from the McFlurry Loophole, McDonald’s has grossly underestimated the number of Australians who have no shame (i.e. shame=0) and the extortionate price differences are reflective of one’s pride and shame. So doing some simple calculations, the cost savings of shame involved has been estimated for each McNuggets combination available in Australia.

McNuggets Cost Comparison Table

McNuggets Cost Graph

As you can see, the shame involved with the McNuggets Loophole varies depending on size, with the 10 pack having the least shame and the 40 pack, which is offered as a McNugget Party in Germany for only €10, having the greatest amount of shame. The low price of the German engineered McNugget party just proves that at any exchange rate greater than 1 AUD = €0.4, Australian consumers are seriously getting ripped off on McNuggets.

Enjoy your savings lack of shame with the McNuggets Loophole.

Also check out the McFlurry Loophole and the Fillet O Fish Loophole

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12

The McFlurry Loophole

Ever had the thought that you were getting ripped off by McDonald’s when you were seriously hungover? Well here’s a way to seek your petty consumer revenge with the Golden Arches.

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McFlurry was introduced down under in June 1999, around the same time when Oreos and that cute golden dog which licks the kid’s milk became famous. It was introduced at an introductory price of around $1.99 and the price has been rising exponentially ever since. As of the time of writing this post, the price of a McFlurry is an extortionate $4.25. This is overvalued relative to the fundamental value of a McFlurry valued using both a CPI and components method.

The McFlurry Loophole
This involves purchasing the individual components of McFlurry separately and combining them. Here’s how:

Order the following:
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-2 soft serve cones 2x30cents=60 cents
-A serve of Oreo topping in a sundae lid 50cents
-A small cup of tap water FREE

Total cost: $1.10

When you have all items:

1. Drink or dispose of the water.
2. Remove soft serve from cones and place in cup.
3. Add oreo topping and then mix with the spoon they should have provided you with when you place an order. If not McCafe has free spoons.
4. Consume the combo as you would a McFlurry.

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As you can see, you save $3.15 and get more soft serve and Oreo than the real thing. Don’t forget the free cones.

Holding all other factors constant, the only ways McDonalds can close this loophole would be to:

– Raise the price of an individual soft serve cone to $1.825.
-Raise the price of McFlurry topping to $3.65. Although, this would seriously cannibalise sales from those who like to menage a trois their McFlurry toppings.

Although maybe McDonalds has worked out that the *cough* shame *cough* of doing this loophole can be priced at $3.15. If this is the case, they have priced McFlurry correctly as only a small proportion of the population who are assumed to have no shame (i.e. shame=0) will fundamentally price their McFlurry at $1.10. With a $3.15 price difference, I think McDonalds has considerably underestimated the proportion of Australians with no shame.

Also check out the McNuggets Loophole and the Fillet O Fish Loophole

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0

The first trivial blog post

According to my ridiculously expensive diary, ‘2014 is your year’, meaning 2014 is apparently going to be blast, or if it is opposite day, it’s going to be a total disaster. So I figure I may as well have a public diary on wordpress in the case that the paper one is tainted.

Maybe if I blog enough random posts about my love and theories of fast food, McDonalds will fall in love with me and pay me an insane salary to become my childhood dream: a chip taste tester. I am dreaming big, but hey it worked for Cinderella and ALDIMUM.

Anyway here’s to 2014.

To the reader behind the screen. Hi! Hopefully we can be friends :).

Feel free to post nice comments and spam.